Have you ever felt the awkwardness of not knowing what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of an animal … or experienced a loss yourself and had people say things that were unintentionally clueless or hurtful?

I have and I’m sure I’m not alone.

When my dad died I was an absolute mess. Despite our occasional tiffs, he was the one and only constant in my life. On my birthday every year, I always looked forward to his ritual singing. The year he died I wished my birthday away because, with him gone, who would jubilantly sing Happy Birthday to me?     

Grief is complex.

Missing the physical presence of our animal companions is wretched enough. Accompanying the heartache are grief’s inevitable (and normal) counterparts: guilt and regret. No matter the circumstance, our minds barrage us with various accusations — that we didn’t spend enough time with our animal, that we should have realized the seriousness or cause of their illness. Or we question if the chosen treatment was too extensive or not enough.