Suffering the Loss of Our Animals is Agonizing
When we compassionately free our animals from pain and suffering by euthanasia, or when we tragically lose them due to an accident or if they go missing, our minds punish us with guilt, regret, shame, blame or anger at ourselves or another. Additionally, grief is complex in that it is layered with resurfacing of past losses. This is especially painful when our animals are associated with a beloved person who has died. With any loss, we tend to question our faith, religious/spiritual beliefs or life philosophies. These emotional gyrations are the plight of all humankind when grieving. The important thing to know is that this is all normal. So how do we transform the pain and hold onto the love?
We start by learning to be in relationship with our pain and grief. How? By allowing it to unfold with giving testimony to our stories so that our love is witnessed and honored. This can be done through ritual, memorials, art, writing, one-on-one grief support, or a grief support group.
Mary Ann can help.
“Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul.”
— Margaret Wakeley
Anticipatory Grief
Grief is normally associated with post-death experiences. But anticipating the loss when we know our animal will not recover from an illness brings much anguish. This is known as anticipatory grief. Veterinarians help us assess quality of life and to understand what to expect when death is near. But as advocates for our animals, it is up to us to make decisions. The unknown of when, how, or what the end will be like can be unbearable. This anticipation of the loss normally brings fear, dread, guilt and deep heartache. Seeking grief support can help alleviate the isolation and anxiety and helps to better enjoy the precious and sacred time remaining.
Disenfranchised Grief
Grief is an experience all humans and animals share. Yet when we suffer it, we feel excruciatingly alone. Every relationship is uniquely irreplaceable, which makes grief so isolating. And no one can understand our pain because it belongs only to us. To add to our suffering, when it comes to animals, our culture is not only grief illiterate and mourning-averse but also values humans over animals. Thus grief for our animals can go unrecognized. This is known as disenfranchised grief.
